Thursday, February 5, 2009

relax, turn off yr mind and float downstream

so it is unseasonably warm here in the Front Range today, and i am in an unseasonably good mood. Positively glowing, in fact. Woke up on time and ran some errands, in the morning; talked to several friends; and just generally feeling blessed and positive, spreading the cheer. Tomorrow is my birthday, which i normally loathe and despise, but i have so many wonderful people in my life, who are so loving and kind, and i actually feel kind of SPECIAL this year, (not in the short bus way). So it looks like there may be some fun things going on this weekend, i'll get to see my nearest and dearest, and i'm probably gonna get The Fall's discography, for all yr spiky post-punk needs.
  I got a package in the mail yesterday, from my mom, which contained some things i left at her place in Indiana. I got an old notebook, that i was writing in over the summer and had a lot of cool shit, including some drawings from my trip to Louisville, Ky that i'm rather fond of. Also contained in that package were pictures of my Dad, which i had asked her for, cuz i don't have any, and it was a total surprise blessing. My dad has been a major guiding light and guardian angel in my life, even posthumously, and doubly so since i got sober. He was a drunk as well, and he pretty much gave it up for me, when i was born. Now, having been a 'problem drinker', i can really respect how difficult that must've been. I could never do it, on my own. When i was born, he quit his wicked ways and i never saw any of that shit. Pretty much had an idyllic childhood, until the trauma started anyway. So, i'm feeling inspired and motivated, and i'm getting shit done, which is difficult for me. Showing up for work on time and doing a good job, paying the rent on time, having challenging conversations with people, making time for people that i love, and finding time to have a spiritual and artistic practice. Now, i don't do all of those things, it is definitely a work in progress, and i'm still getting used to working a lot, and having limited free-time. I've been under-employed for the last 5 months, with nothing but time to fuck around and pad my external hard drive. 
  So my job is cool, thus far. It is stressful, at times, and it blows my mind that i somehow managed to walk into a management position. I am truly blessed, and i feel up to the challenge, in this and all other aspects of my life. 

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