mah week

yes, ladies and gentlemen, i have been downright misanthropic this week. Between the dual influences of reading Nick Cave's brilliant but brutal And the Ass Saw the Angel and seeing The Watchmen on Sunday, relating to Rorschach's views on humanity's depravity; it has left me feeling like an isolated Boo Radley, outside of society and always on the run, always on guard. Reminds me of being a kid, avoiding busy streets so as to not encourage any projectiles or insults being hurled. Like a whipped dog, i was, and i carry those seeds inside of me. Truth be told, however, is that i have been slack on my spiritual program, and my brain will seek any outlet for these uncomfortable feelings, itching in my skin suit, and looking for a way OUT!
Things came to a head on Tues., day 5 of my fugue and i just couldn't shake it. The pressure mounting, building behind my temples, eyes flashing red, i hate everybody including myself. Tired, harried, stressed-out, not one palm tree as respite in my desert of desperation. I took a deep breath, realizing that the only way out is to pass through the fire, i just had to get through my day by whatever means necessary, other than drinking. I embraced my malevolence, and vowed that i would spend my night and my days off getting centered and grounded, taking care of myself and picking up the pieces. That said, i through on Skinny Puppy's Too Dark Park on the Cd player, played 3 times through. I had forgotten how much i enjoy their nasty work. I will continue this at a later time, i've got some links for y'all, and will endcap this craziness. Suffice it to say, i'm feeling better, thanks for asking. To get you started:

Skinny Puppy - Too dark park
Nick Cave - And The Ass Saw the Angel - password: eniac